As I started to date and fall in love with my husband, almost everyone I knew was against it. They must refrain not only from sex, but also passionate kissing or similar physical contact, or any act that arouses such feelings.
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When my wife and I married, we were very different, but I found all the differences delightful. Its was written in shorthand so lonson hard to read.
I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are.