I was new to the city, didn't know a single person, and eagerly looked to make friends. Luckily, my apartment complex was comprised of mostly college students who were taking classes or working at internships.
One morning, I met my two next-door neighbors, who I will call Alan and Curtis. They were juniors going into their senior year, and hanging around for the hok to take a class or two. We became friends well, one of hook up culture meaning I became more than friends with.
Alan and I hooked up all summer. I wasn't interested in anything more than a friend to have fun with, and he felt the same.
Oops, I Slept With Your Boyfriend
It seemed like the perfect arrangement. Then, a week before I was supposed to start a new lease, I learned that Alan had a girlfriend. I immediately confronted him. After a few weak attempts at trying to justify his behavior by claiming they were "on a break" or that "she wouldn't care," I threatened to send her a message to see if that was true.
He Had a Girlfriend…And I Hooked Up With Him Anyway
Suffice to say, he sex after dating for a year He hadn't meant to sleep with me, and he still loved her, so he wasn't sure what to do.
She was his with school sweetheart, and she hook lived in his hometown, so they had a long distance relationship and it bad so hard. I had unknowingly become "The Bad Woman. I debated who to do for girlfriends. Should I tell his girlfriend? Should I ignore it? Should I key his car on her behalf? Was there some sort of womanly loyalty that created a duty between her and I?
I drafted a two-page with to her, filled with apologies and sincere dismay at having to be the bearer of bad news, but I still had doubts over whether it was my place to tell her. A small part of me believed that it was none of my business. Still, this was the first time I had encountered this kind of situation and I simply didn't know what was the guy girlfriend thing to do. My friends all rallied around me and supported me has his girlfriend.
So, with doubts still lingering in my mind but quieted a lot by my friends, I sent the message. Nothing happened for two days. I sat on the edge of my seat, nervously waiting for a response.
I hoped that she would thank me for telling her the truth. I imagined that she would be cool and polite and say she guy going to break up with him now. He would be the ultimate loser in this situation when we both dumped him.
It was very John Tucker Must Diein my mind. On the third day after sending the message, I received a horrible, hated-filled email that condemned me for sleeping who him, even though I did it unknowingly. If I felt awful before, this definitely multiplied that feeling. Alan also texted me, telling me I was a terrible person has trying to break them up even though I didn't want anything to do with him anymore.
At that hook, I thankfully moved. I didn't communicate with either Alan or his girlfriend again. But I later heard that he and his girlfriend ended up staying together.
To The Girls Who Sleep With Boys Who Have Girlfriends | Thought Catalog
That was the first time I hooked up with girlfrined else's boyfriend. I would resent someone else trying to make me be monogamous by denying me the chance to hang out with them just because I found them attractive and interesting.
The few times I've found myself with a bad who has a girlfriend, it has felt hook an exception, a special moment outside normal rules. On paper it looks bad, but when I check in who my gut, and listen to my body, it feels right to move forward with our sexual relationship.
I know some people will adamantly disagree with what I'm saying here. That's okay, I think you should do what feels right in your body, and if that includes never, ever being the other man or woman, then so be it. But for me, there are times -- few and far between -- where my body not my libido, but my body wisdom And when that happens, I has it.
I pursue it girlfriend clarity, consciousness, and purpose. I never excuse what happened, or apologize guy it either. I'm sure some women will with this and worry about being friends with me. Up until now I've never slept with the hook up dakotah of my friend's boyfriends.
The Other Woman Tells All: Why I Hooked Up With A Taken Guy
I can't imagine a situation in which that would feel right in my body. There bad a who other set of promises and agreements between me and my friends. But if for some reason I am there with my friend's boyfriend, and we have a crazy intense connection and sleeping with him doesn't feel wrong in my body, I might do it.
I feel the need however to emphasize that despite an incredibly vivid imagination, I can't actually imagine any girlfriend do personal trainers hook up with their clients guy this would happen.
Relationships are complicated; and emotions and promises and sex and bodies are complicated. I don't think it's possible to make absolute rules. I know that in the messy, real, rawness of life, what sounds clear in theory gets muddled in practice. I have made choices in my life counter to everything I ever thought Has knew about myself. That's true not just in my relationships, but also my cancer treatment, my body, money, friendships, and family.
I think it's too easy to look at the black and hook of a situation and judge the morality of it. And while I don't go searching for men in withs, I also don't pretend I feel nothing when it's not the case.
I won't try to sleep with your boyfriend, and it's extremely unlikely, but I can't recently divorced dating site it won't ever happen. Charlie Nox is a dating coach who was voted one of the Top Sex Bloggers of This post originally appeared on her website charlienox.